Or how not to survive Dec. 9th and 10th while Silicon Valley's a ghost town.
1/ Dream for 8 consecutive hours that you're on a plane to Paris. You land, walk down the red carpet into Paris' 104, and discover Billy Ray Cyrus giving an opening concert before Loïc and Jack Dorsey walk on stage.
2/ Get ready to drop anything and everything to fly to Paris, even if your bank account and workload disagree. Miss your student days - you used to simply accept a .5 drop in GPA to check out of finals early!
3/ Start getting nostalgic. Re-read every single blog post you ever wrote about the conference. Reminisce about the days Granddaddy bought you a brand new MacBook Pro and a Nicole Miller cocktail dress in preparation.
4/ Realize, that for you, LeWeb conference ranks right up there with graduation, Christmas, 16th birthdays, new cars, job promotions, a first kiss, or winning the lottery.
5/ Stay up all night. Torture yourself with live UStream video and thousands of tweets. Ask yourself if the Real Time Web, rather than a significant evolution in communication, isn't more of an evil torture device designed to drive you absolutely insane.
6/ Instead of counting sheep, count the number of friends on LeWeb participant list who are having fun in Paris without you.
Have it hit you, for the thousandth time, that there's a beauty to your suffering. That you have been incredibly blessed to have a conference, its founders and attendees, profoundly impact your life and bring you such happiness. Place a piggy bank next to your bed, break out the calander. Block out next December no matter what. Reserve your plane tickets, reserve your hotel, buy your wardrobe, dream of what new possibilities you can create from everything you've learned thus far. Plan everything to a T, and begin the 365 day countdown...
The circumstance gods may not have been with me this time. But I'll see you next year, promis. :)